Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
. __ .
. -*- N A M V E T -*- ____/ \_ .
. ( * .
. Managing Editor Quangtri .
. ---------------- \_/ \_ Hue .
. G. Joseph Peck \_Ashau Phu Bai .
. \_* \_ .
. Distribution Manager * ) .
. -------------------- _/ Danang .
. Jerry Hindle |/ ( \_*Chu Lai .
. --*-- \_ ------- \__ .
. Section Editors /| \_ I Corps .
. --------------- ------- ! .
. IN-TOUCH: Ray "Frenchy" Moreau /\_____ ! .
. INCARCERATED VETS: Joyce Flory / ! .
. VETERAN BENEFITS: Jim Hildwine ! !___ .
. AGENT ORANGE: Jim Ferguson ! /\____! .
. NEED-TO-KNOW: Lefty Frizzell ! ! .
. MIA/POW: Marsha Ledeman / Dak To ! .
. VETERAN EMPLOYMENT: Fred Sochacki / * / .
. KEEPER OF THE LIST: Charlie Revie ! \_ .
. ! Phu Cat .
. * * ) .
. Pleiku ) .
. -*- N A M V E T -*- .
. / / .
. "In the jungles of 'Nam, some of us ( -------- ! .
. were scared and wary, but we pulled _ II Corps ! .
. one another along and were able / -------- .
. to depend on each other. That has .
. never changed. Today, free of the ! * / .
. criticisms and misunderstandings _/ Nhatrang / .
. many veterans have endured, _/ / .
. NAM VET is a shining beacon, __/ ! .
. a ray of hope, and a _ __/ ! .
. reminder that the _____( )/ ! Camranh Bay .
. lessons learned / !__ ! .
. at such a high / / .
. price shall not Bien Hoa / .
. be forgotten - ! Chu Chi * __/ .
. nor the errors \_ * --------- ___/ .
. repeated!!!" ____ III Corps _/ .
. / \_____) )_(_ --------- !__/ Duplication in .
. ! ( ___/ any form permitted .
. _____! \__ * ___/ for NONCOMMERCIAL .
. ! Saigon/ purposes ONLY! .
. \___ -------- / / .
. IV Corps / For other use, contact: .
. ) -------- / .
. / ! G. Joseph Peck (413) 442-1660 .
. / ____/ Managing Editor .
. / Mekong/ .
. ! Delta/ This newsletter is comprised of articles .
. ! ____/ and items from individuals and other .
. ! / sources. We are not responsible for the .
. ! / content of this information nor are any of .
. ! __/ NAM VETs contributors or Section Editors. .
. \_/ gjp .
. .
Fourth Annual NamVet Page i
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
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T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S
1. Editorials n' Stuff
Dreams DO come true! ..................................... 1
Happy 4th Birthday NamVet!!! ............................. 2
Yahrzeit '88 ............................................. 3
The Silent Warrior ....................................... 6
2. Drums be not Silent
Colonel Peck resigns from DIA Office! .................... 8
They haven't forgotten US!!! ............................. 13
Why? ..................................................... 14
The Loneliest Prayer ..................................... 15
3. Don't drink the water!
Were YOU exposed to Agent Orange??? ...................... 16
Break out the Clearasil ! ............................ 19
All in a day's work... ................................... 20
4. Close to home...
Wall puts war in focus ................................... 21
Epitaph .................................................. 24
In-Touch Unites Many ..................................... 25
The Wall ................................................. 28
IN-TOUCH Registration/Request Form!!! .................... 29
Did you? ................................................. 31
Remembering our brothers and sisters ..................... 32
Tour of Duty??? .......................................... 34
5. Forgotten - again?
Wanna share some time and news? .......................... 37
A visit or note once in awhile? .......................... 43
What is a Sailor? ........................................ 44
6. The Chapel at NamVet
Combat Stress - The Forgotten Warrior .................... 45
War ...................................................... 52
NamVet's Electronic Chapel ............................... 53
When Remembering is too much ............................. 54
7. Sister Vets
VWMP's Sister Search ..................................... 57
Monumental Difference .................................... 58
VWMP's Sister Search Form ................................ 59
8. Shifting Sands
Stormin' Norman's Address to Congress .................... 60
A real heartwarming letter ............................... 63
She Flies Ever High!!! ................................... 65
My Symbol ................................................ 66
Hands Across Time ........................................ 67
9. NamVet Service Desk
Letter from The White House .............................. 68
A NEW American "Bush"? ................................... 69
Homecoming III ........................................... 71
10. Index To NamVet Articles
Index to Articles in NamVet .............................. 72
11. Charlie's Angels
Where do YOU get NamVet??? ............................... 93
Where to find VIETNAM_VETS/NamVet ........................ 94
Some Gave All... ......................................... 97
Fourth Annual NamVet Page ii
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
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Editorials n' Stuff
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Dreams DO come true!
by G. Joseph Peck
NamVet's Managing Editor
VETLink #1 - Pittsfield, MA
(413) 443-6313
Four years of producing NamVet's... Counting our Anniversary and
Special Editions, this will be the 50th issue of NamVet that we've
produced! Its hard to believe that so much time has passed and so
many topics have been covered!
Even *-MORE-* difficult to believe is the number of subjects that
HAVEN'T yet been touched on or covered in anywhere near the depth
we'd like to do them in. When first NamVet appeared on the
electronic horizons, there was great concern that it would only be
a five- or ten-page monthly publication. NOW our biggest battle
is to keep a NamVet within the 360k limitations of a floppy disk!
Its been an exciting dream come true! So many voices; so many
things to say; so much to be done - revealed to us almost every
day via telephone, USSnail, NetMail or in the various VETNet
echoes. Items to be saved; items that would interest some of our
veterans and their families; items that would be helpful to us
all. A "dream", though, that wouldn't have come true without YOU,
your families, friends, and the great number of folk all over the
world who care enough about veterans and what the veterans
experience to write articles about them, publish information
packets for them, or get involved in issues that will have an
effect on today's soldier, ex-soldier and future soldier.
THANK YOU - Each and every one of you for helping make NamVet what
it is today and what it will be tomorrow; for shipping it
overseas; for taking it with you to VA hospitals and nursing
homes; for contributing articles and poems.
Above all, THANK YOU for allowing me the opportunity to add MY
efforts to one of the proudest, most persistent and determined
teams in all the world! I still get all misty-eyed when I reflect
upon the trust and faith you have placed in me to do this job!
'til next month...
Show a brother or sister veteran ... that YOU care!
Ci'ao for Ni'ao
- Joe -
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 1
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
HH HH AAA PPPPPP PPPPPP YY YY
HH HH AA AA PP PP PP PP YY YY
HH HH AA AA PP PP PP PP YY YY
HH HH AA AA PP PP PP PP YY YY
HHHHHHHH AAAAAAA PPPPPP PPPPPP YYYYYY
HH HH AA AA PP PP YY
NH HH AA AA PP PP YY
HH HH AA AA PP PP YY
G. Joseph Peck * Joyce Flory * Jerry Hindle * Ray Moreau * Doc
BBBBB IIII RRRRRR TTTTTTTT HH HH DDDDDDD AAA YY YY
BB BB II RR RR TT HH HH DD DD AA AA YY YY
BB BB II RR R TT HH HH DD DD AA AA YY YY
BB BB II RR RR TT HH HH DD DD AA AA YY YY
BBBBBB II RRRRR TT HHHHHHH DD DD AAAAAAA YYYYY
BB BB II RR RR TT HH HH DD DD AA AA YY
BB BB II RR RR TT HH HH DD DD AA AA YY
BBBBBB IIII RR RR TT HH HH DDDDDDD AA AA YY
Charlie Revie * Dave Doehrman * Joan Renne * Dale Malone * Bac Si
NN NN AAAA MM MM VV VV EEEEEEE TTTTTTTT
NNN NN AA AA MMM MMM VV VV EE TT
NN N NN AA AA MM M M MM VV VV EE TT
NN N NN AA AA MM M MM VV VV EE TT
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The International Newsletter for Vietnam Veterans
` ` ` `
_________|_|_|_|_____________
: Putting unity :
:=============================:
: In our Veteran CommUNITY! :
:_____________________________:
Clay Tannacore * Jim Hildwine * Lefty Frizzell * Alex Humphrey
Craig Roberts * Ray Walker * Bill Plude * Jim Ferguson
Ed Brant * Mike Harris * Glenn Toothman * Carl Dunn * Don Purvis
Fred Sochacki * Sarge Hultgren * George Currie * Ken Flory
Joe Krickenbarger-Oliver * Sam Thompson * Marsha Ledeman
Martin Kroll * Glen Kepler * Terry Hayes * Lydia Fish * Jim Ennes
Karen Winnett * Scott Summers * Ralph Carlson * Joe Meadors
Mike Kelley * Chick Curry * Charles Harper * David Kirshbaum
Gordon Giroux * Rod Germain * Todd Looney * Pete Farias Faye Kahn
Brad Meyers * Jan Gerstner * Marge Clark * Ann Murrell * Bil Cook
Bob Morris * Gale Barrows * Billy Palmergunner * Ralph Feller
Richard Morrow * Henry Elsworth * Jesse Kitson * Jim Henthorn
Art Fellner * Harlow Campbell * Rick Kelley * Mike Readinger
Richard Wolbaum * Walt Fletcher * Mike Halley * Gary Searles
Fannie Benware * Mike Leclair * Jery Allison * Don Murray
>>>>>>> and all the rest of us!!! <<<<<<<
Our *-FOURTH-* Year
" Service with Pride! "
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 2
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
Yahrzeit '88
Submitted Anonymously
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
- John Keats "Ode to a Nightingale"
She put them up in a brass and stained oak frame. Against the
white satin background they didn't appear so ominous, and didn't
supply a hint as to the way in which they are awarded. A pretty
color, like that on the robes of royalty; pure and deep with
majestic allusion. On a weekly basis, she polished the frame,
keeping the brass as bright as a ray of morning sunlight. The
glass was so spotless that it was possible to see quite clearly
ones own reflection. She picked a conspicuous spot for them, and
fastened them to the wall in the hallway.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
But I didn't look at them. I didn't want to see the morbid days
and endless nights that caused their arrival. I didn't want to
face the face that won these prizes through violent means. But
she kept polishing the brass and glass, commenting "They are
precious metals" to those who asked about them. And they hung
there on the wall, passed each time a step was taken in the hall.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
Each week she would clean them, and the evening sun would cast a
reflected light ray to the end of the hall. Each week she would
polish them with a tenderness as if they were children to be held.
She never said a word about them, but it was easy to tell she was
extremely curious about their origins.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
Any appeal to remove them was met with stern disapproval. She
wanted something to remind her of what had happened, even if she
didn't know exactly what that was. She never pried, but held me
gently on the nights I would wake up soaked in sweat and tears.
She never complained, and never wanted out; instead she would shed
tears for my fears, and cry for my sorrows. And every week, she
would clean and polish them, until like a beacon they shone.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
The sleepless nights faded into the past, the weeks melted into
months, and the months passed into years. And each week she would
polish them, not voicing a bit of curiosity. She understood the
pain, because it was evident in her eyes each morning after a
dream of return had come. Her soft touch and wavering voice
exposed the silent melancholy her heart felt and she tried so hard
to hide. And each week, she returned to them, polishing them
brightly.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 3
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
The tenderness, style and beauty was taken from her in an instant
she never realized. I never had a chance to explain to her the
prize was one of immense sorrow. She would polish them as if they
were the most important thing in our existence. She held them as
tenderly as she had held me on the occasions that it was needed.
She understood that the key to my welfare was locked in that frame
of brass and oak, and the only way to release the demons was to
face the face in the reflected glass.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
Her funeral was a complete shock. The realization of death I
thought had died many years ago. Death was something benign,
something that didn't affect me anymore. Yet here she was, the
Joy, Beauty and Truth of my life, lying in grassy solitude. She
was no longer there to polish the brass and oak frame, so the dust
and tarnish collected, dimming the Light they reflected in the
past.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
What the war couldn't accomplish, I thought pills could. G-d it's
such a hard life! The pills: they can fix everything. If I take
enough of them.... And like a memory hidden by time, the brass
greened and the oak cracked.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
Waking up in the hospital, I was told death had been a breath
away. My first reaction was anger for failing, then anger for
trying, and finally settled into weeks of self imposed isolation,
purging the pent up feelings in emotional self-abasement. The
questions came faster than I could possibly answer, and I closed
myself off even further. Ignoring all life around me.
And so they hung there, waiting. Waiting.
I got home with the feeling she had deserted me; leaving me in not
so silent agony. The first thing I noticed was they were
polished, bright as any day she had cleaned them. I asked who
polished them, and everyone said they didn't know. I took them
off the wall, excused myself and went into my private chambers.
For the first time I was able to look at them since they were hung
around my neck by the powers that warranted their action. For the
first time I was able to look at the face that won them, and
realize that it was a face of an ordinary man, and not a maniacal
killer. I held them and finally the tears came. The tears that
would begin to wash away the stench of guilt and sorrow of the
years past. The tears that would finally release me from the
unbearable torments of my dreams. As I moved to wipe the fallen
tears from the polished glass, I looked and saw her face, as
clearly as she was sitting there with me. She was smiling a smile
of extreme serenity, and lipped the words "Welcome home. I love
you." And just as suddenly, she was gone. I knew then who returned
the lustre to them.
And they no longer hung there, waiting. Waiting.
I took the medals and wrapped them in a bedsheet and boxed them
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 4
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
up. The box was taken to a family storage place, where they will
be safe and cool. The brass and oak frame that she polished so
persistently will be safe from corrosion and decay until I decide
to take them out again. But for now, they have served their
purpose. The Marines gave them to me for my conduct. My wife
gave them to me for my sanity.
And they no longer hang there, waiting. Waiting.
15 years ago I finished my SEA tour. 10 years ago my wife died,
taking that beautiful smile and that full life with her. With
this, the tenth anniversary of her death, I would like to let the
world know that she was with me when all others had given up hope,
and loved me when I didn't seem to love her back. So my
continuing love for her I express poorly in these words:
You were all of life to me. Yet when I thought that you had
abandoned me in death, you still managed to pull me through life.
You gave me back that burning desire for life I had lost. Even as
you could support me in life, you saved me in death. I cannot
offer anything other than the troth I pledged before, to reaffirm
before G-d and man to love you for all eternity.
# # #
Semper fidelis
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 5
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
THE SILENT WARRIOR
By Karen Winnett
S.I.R.E.N. IS CALLING BBS - Sacramento, CA
(916) 971-0589
The fire fights have ended and the big guns no longer roar
but the Silent Warrior's fighting like he's never fought before!
No point man walks before him and no man takes the rear,
no comrade stands beside him though death is always near!
He humps no hills or valleys and he sweats no jungle heat.
He stalks no Vils or cities, yet has no road to retreat.
His field pack long abandoned and his rifle gone to rust,
The Silent Warrior battles, because, he has no choice, he must!
It's a long range operation, the objective long and hard,
to the Valley of the Shadow, where only Angels are.
The Silent Warrior battles, where no soul should have to go,
and no heart can ever reach him, for his battlefield's unknown!
Don't look to the north or south, don't look west or east,
look to home and know the truth, this is where the warrior bleeds!
His campaigns rage in silence, and he battles here at home,
his courage goes unnoticed and his valor, few have known!
Behold the Silent Warrior, lost deep within his thoughts,
his body frozen solid, never never to unlock!
What enemy could do this, what hearts could be so cold,
to do him such dishonor, a brother of our own!
I look into unseeing eyes and I wonder where he is,
and damn the souls who were taught to care,
yet did a thing like this!
Behold this valiant warrior, who never more shall speak,
curled up in a fetal ball on antiseptic sheets!
His arms and legs contracted, his body old and frail
his honor stripped away and lost where love should not have
failed!
Look gently on this old one, who battles day and night,
and let every warrior cry for him, until Valhalla's in his sights.
For such are the forgotten, not daed yet not alive,
doing battle on the Veterans wards beyond uncaring eyes!
Behold the Silent Warrior, who's stillness screams with rage,
who wars in fields of solitude, and there, til death, he stays!
I have touched the Silent Warrior, and learned to know his pain,
I have fed and I have bathed him, and cried when no one came!
I have reached down to his anger and held his ruined hands,
and I felt the battle raging, and I cursed, "God damn!"
Behold the Silent Warrior, who battles until death,
honor him and know his face, stand guard beside his bed.
For such are the forgotten, some lost and some abused,
victims of a friendly fire we never can undo.
Yes, the Fire fights have ended, and the big guns no longer roar,
but the Silent Warriors fighting like he never fought before!
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Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
Go to him, and speak his name, and understand the truth,
don't let him die behind the lines, the next warrior could be you!
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Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
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Drums be not Silent
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Colonel Peck Resigns from POW/MIA Special Office!
Input by Marsha Ledeman
NamVet MIA/POW Section Editor
VETLink #1 - Pittsfield, MA
(413) 443-6313
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
Date: 28 March 1991 Office: POW/MIA
Subject: A Farewell
To: All Personnel
1. The purpose of this memorandum is to bid farewell to the Office
and to wish everyone the very best. I will sincerely miss each
one of you, and will always retain fond memories of our efforts
together and the many triumphs we were able to achieve as a team.
Because of the intensity of our activities and being under
constant political fire, the bonding that I felt for you was
similar to that which occurs to soldiers in combat and I came to
love you as brothers and sisters.
2. The attached document fairly well sums up how I feel about the
entire issue although, I subsequently lined out several portions.
I am convinced that no one working within the present "structure"
will ever satisfactorily resolve the question of whether or not
U.S. prisoners were held after the cessation of hostilities in
Vietnam or elsewhere.
3. It is my plan to pursue the issue via other avenues, and while
so doing, will work diligently to give the POW/MIA Office the
credit it so richly deserves and to ensure that your reputation,
in all circles, is defended and upheld. Your honor and interests
will always be one of my highest priorities -- and when I say that
I mean it.
4. Many thanks to everyone, for your support; your devotion;
your hard work; and your dedication to excellence. God bless you
all.
Adieu, Millard A. Peck Colonel,
Infantry USA
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
Date: 12-Feb-1991 memorandum
REPLY TO
THE ATTENTION OF: POW/MIA U-0173/POW/MIA
SUBJ: REQUEST FOR RELIEF
TO: DR
1. PURPOSE: I hereby, request to resign my position as the Chief
of the Special Office for Prisoners of War and Missing in Action.
(POW/MIA)
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 8
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
2. BACKGROUND
a. Motivation. My initial acceptance of this posting was based
upon two primary motives: first, I had heard that the job was
highly contentious and extremely frustrating, that no one would
volunteer for it because of its complex political nature. This,
of course, made it appear challenging. Secondly, since the end of
the Vietnam War, I had heard the persistent rumors of American
Servicemen having been abandoned in Indochina, and that the
Government was conducting a "cover-up" so as not to be
embarrassed. I was curious about this and thought that serving as
the Chief of POW-MIA would be an opportunity to satisfy my own
interest and help clear the Government's name.
b. The Office's reputation. It was interesting that previous
exposure to the POW-MIA Office, while assigned to the DIA, both as
a Deputy Director for Intelligence (DDI) and as the Chief Of the
Asia Division for Current Intelligence (JSI-3) was negative. DIA
personnel who worked for me, when dealing with or mentioning the
office, always spoke about it in deprecating tones, alluding to
the fact that any report which found its way there would quickly
disappear into a "black hole."
c. General Attitudes. Additionally, surveys of active duty
military personnel indicated that a high percentage (83%) believed
that there were still live American prisoners in Vietnam. This
idea was further promulgated in a number of legitimate veterans'
periodicals and professional journals, as well as the media in
general, which held that where there was so much smoke there must
be fire.
d. Cover up. The dark side of the issue was particularly
unsettling because of the persistent rumors and innuendoes of a
Government conspiracy, alleging that U.S. military personnel had
been left behind to the victorious communist governments in
Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia, and that for "political reasons" or
running the risk of a second Vietnam War, their existence was
officially denied. Worse yet was the implication that DIA's
Special Office for POWs and MIAs was an integral part of this
effort to cover the entire affair up so as not to embarrass the
Government nor the Defense Establishment.
e. The Crusade. As a Vietnam veteran with a certain amount of
experience in Indochina, I was interested in the entire POW-MIA
question, and willingly volunteered for the job, viewing it as a
sort of holy crusade.
f. The Harsh Reality. Heading up the Office has not been
pleasant. My plan was to be totally honest and forthcoming on the
entire issue and aggressively pursue innovative actions and
concepts to clear up the live sighting business, thereby
refurbishing the image and honor of the DIA. I became painfully
aware, however, that I was not really in charge of my own office,
but was merely a figurehead or whipping boy for a larger and
totally Machiavellian group of players outside of DIA. What I
witnessed during my tenure as the cardboard cut-out "Chief" of the
POW/MIA could be euphemistically labeled as disillusioning.
3. CURRENT IMPRESSIONS, BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 9
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
a. Highest National Priority. That National leaders continue to
address the prisoner of war and missing in action issue as the
"highest national priority" is a travesty. From my vantage point,
I observed that the principal government players were interested
primarily in conducting a "damage limitation exercise" and
appeared to knowingly and deliberately generate an endless
succession of manufactured crises and "busy work". Progress
consisted in frenetic activity, with little substance and no real
results.
b. The Mindset to Debunk. The mindset to "debunk" is alive and
well. It is held at all levels, and continues to pervade the POW-
MIA Office, which is not necessarily the fault of the DIA.
Practically all analysis is directed to finding fault with the
source. Rarely has there been any effective, active follow
through on any of the sightings, nor is there a responsive "action
arm" to routinely and aggressively pursue leads. The latter was a
moot point, anyway, since the Office was continuously buried in an
avalanche of "ad hoc" taskings from every quarter, all of which
required an immediate response. It was impossible to plan ahead
or prioritize courses of action. Any real effort to pursue live
sighting reports or exercise initiative was diminished by the
plethora of "busy work" projects directed by higher authority
outside DIA. A number of these grandiose endeavors bordered on the
ridiculous -- quite significantly -- there was never an audit
trail. None of these taskings was ever requested formally. There
was, and still is, a refusal by any of the players to follow
normal intelligence channels in dealing with the POW/MIA office.
c. Duty, Honor, Integrity. It appears that the entire issue is
being manipulated by unscrupulous people in the Government, or
associated with the Government. Some are using the issue for
personal or political advantage and others use if as a forum to
perform and feel important, or worse. The sad fact, however, is
that this issue is being controlled and a cover up may be in
progress. The entire charade does not appear to be an honest
effort and may never have been.
d. POW/MIA Officers Abandoned. When I assessed the office for the
first time, I was somewhat amazed and greatly disturbed by the
fact that I was the only military officer in an organization of
more than 40 people. Since combatants of all Services were lost in
Vietnam, I would have thought there would at least be a token
service representation for a matter of the "highest National
priority". Since the normal mix of officers from all services is
not found in my organization it would appear that the issue, at
least at the working level, has, in fact, been abandoned. Also,
the horror stories of the succession of military officers at the
0-5 and 0-6 level who have in some manner "rocked the boat" and
quickly come to grief at the hands of the Government policy makers
who direct the issue, lead one to the conclusion that we are all
quite expendable, so by extrapolation one simply concludes that
these same bureaucrats would "sacrifice" anyone who was
troublesome or contentious -- including prisoners of war and
missing in action. Not a comforting thought. Any military
officer expected to survive in this environment would have to be
myopic, an accomplished sycophant, or totally insouciant.
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 10
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
e. The DIA Involvement. DIA's role in the affair is truly
unfortunate. The overall Agency, has generally practiced a "damage
limitation drill" on the issue, as well. The POW/MIA Office has
been cloistered for all practical purposes and left to its own
fortunes. The POW office is the lowest level in the Government
"effort" to resolve the issue, and oddly for an intelligence
organization, has become the "lighting rod" for the entire
establishment on the matter. The policy people manipulating the
affair have maintained their distance and remained hidden in the
shadows, while using the Office as "toxic waste dump" to bury the
whole "mess" out of sight and mind in a facility with limited
access to public scrutiny. Whatever happens in the issue, DIA
takes the blame, while the real players remain invisible. The
fact that the POW/MIA Office is always the center of an
investigation is of no surprise. Many people suspect that
something is rotten about the whole thing, but cannot find an
audit trail to ascribe blame, so they attack the DIA/POW/MIA
"dump", simply because it has been placed in the line of fire as a
cheap, expendable decoy.
f. "Suppressio Veri Suggesto Falsi". Many of the puppet masters
play a confusing murky role. For instance, the Director of the
National League of Families occupies an interesting and
questionable position in the whole process. Although assiduously
"churning" the account to give a tawdry illusion of progress, she
is adamantly opposed to any initiative to actually get to the
heart of the problem, and, more importantly, interferes in or
actively sabotages POW-MIA analyses or investigations. She insists
on rewriting or editing all significant documents produced by the
Office, inserting her own twist or meaning to what was originally
prepared. This is then touted as the DIA position. She
apparently has access to top secret, codeword message traffic, for
which she is supposedly not cleared, and she receives it well
ahead of the DIA intelligence analysts. Her influence in "jerking
around" everyone and everything involved in the issue goes far
beyond the "war and MIA protested gone straight" scenario. She
was brought from the "outside" into the center of the imbroglio,
and then, cloaked in a mantel of sanctimony, routinely impedes
real progress and insidiously "muddles up" the issue. One wonders
who she really is and where she came from. . .
4. CONCLUSIONS.
a. The Stalled Crusade. Unfortunately, what began on such a high
note never succeeded in embarking. In some respects, however, I
have managed to satisfy some of my curiosity.
b. Everyone is Expendable. I have seen firsthand how ready and
willing the policy people are to sacrifice or "abandon" anyone who
might be perceived as a political liability. It is quick and
facile, and can be easily covered.
c. High-Level Knavery. I feel strongly that this issue is being
manipulated and controlled at a higher level, not with the goal of
resolving it, but more to obfuscate the question of live
prisoners, and give the illusion of progress through
hyperactivity.
d. "Smoke and Mirrors". From what I have witnessed, it appears
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 11
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
that any soldier left in Vietnam, even inadvertently, was, in
fact, abandoned years ago, and that the farce that is being played
is no more than political legerdemain done with "smoke and
mirrors", to stall the issue until it dies a natural death.
e. National League of Families. I am convinced that the Director
of this organization is much more than meets the eye. As the
principal actor in the grand show, she is in the perfect position
to clamor for "progress", while really intentionally impeding the
effort. And, there are numerous examples of this. Otherwise, it
is inconceivable that so many bureaucrats in the "system" would
instantaneously do her bidding and humor her every whim.
f. DIA's Dilemma. Although greatly saddened by the role ascribed
to the Defense Intelligence Agency, I feel, at least, that I am
dealing with honest men and women who are generally powerless to
make the system work. My appeal and attempt to amend this role
perhaps never had a chance. We, all, were subject to control. I
particularly salute the personnel in the POW-MIA Office for their
long suffering, which I regrettable was unable to change. I feel
that the Agency and the Office are being used as the "fall guys"
or "patsies" to cover the tricks of others.
5. RECOMMENDATIONS
a. One Final Vietnam Casualty. So ends the war and my last grand
crusade, like it did actually did end, I guess. However, as they
say in the Legion, "je ne regrette rein..." For all of the above,
I respectfully request to be relieved of my duties as Chief of the
Special Office for Prisoners of War and Missing in Action.
b. A Farewell to Arms. So as to avoid the annoyance of being
shipped off to some remote corner, out of sight and out of the
way, in my own "bamboo cage" of silence somewhere, I further
request that the Defense Intelligence Agency, which I have
attempted to serve loyally and with honor, assist me in being
retired immediately from active military service.
Signed Millard A. Peck
Colonel, Infantry USA
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 12
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
W W M M
W W M M M M
W W / M M M M
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O O W W W W / M M II
O O W W W W M M II
O O W W M M II
O O II
PPPPPP O O ..... II AA
PP PP OOOO . '' '' .. IIII A A
PP PP ..' '.. A A
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N O T F O R
" Bring them home --- NOW !!! "
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 13
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
Why?
by Lord Strider
Submitted by Nancy Dunn
The Landing Zone/VETLink #7 - Portland, OR
(503) 254-6819
To all of you who read this message: This poem was posted on a BBS
in Portland, Oregon. It shows that there are people out there who
do still care.
Still the teardrops fall,
As a maybe widow, or a might be orphan,
Wonder in the night where thier loved one is.
Is he in an unmarked grave,
In a land not his own to which he went,
Not of his own choosing but by a politicians hand?
Or does he yet live a tortured prisoner,
Of an opressive regime he fought against?
Why have those who sent him to fight a war,
Which they would not allow him to win,
Forsaken him and left him for dead,
With not an investigation, but a cover up?
And why have the people of his native land,
Which he loved dearly enough to fight for,
Rather than run to foreign soil in wars evasion,
Stood silently by while his memory fades,
To be swept beneath the carpets, a hidden embarassment,
To all but the families who live a hell of not knowing?
Still the teardrops fall,
And ever will they fall in vain,
While we allow our leaders to shirk their duties,
To the men whom they have abandoned,
And sought to deny the very existance of in past,
But perhaps if voices in sufficient numbers raise,
Another families tears might yet be stayed.
Lord Strider
There are still 2,270 American servicemen listed as M.I.A.
or P.O.W. from the Viet Nam War which ended 18 years ago.
Why?
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 14
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
THE LONELIEST PRAYER
Hardy Abbott
Input By Joyce Flory
NamVet's Incarcerated Veterans Section Editor
Desert Dolphin BBS - Las Cruces, NM
(505) 523-2811
[Poem read at the conclusion of the candlelight ceremony for
POW/MIA's held in Las Cruces, NM 9-22-91]
As I squat here in this lonely place a man maybe even YOU forgot,
I wonder, am I living in hell? Am I alive or not?
I think it's more than ten years now since my last friend left
this place.
I guess he's back home - wherever that is - among the human race.
Forgive me, Lord, if I seem untrue
to the values my parents taught,
To thoughts of you, of family and country, those
things for which I fought.
But, as I've endured the endless days that dragged on into years,
I've battled with all my very being to hold back bitter tears.
My children, by now, they're no longer small, by now they're
nearly grown.
My poor wife - she's had that too, she's raised them all alone.
I wept to hold my darlings, to watch my children grow,
To feel your presence, Lord, my faith in you to show.
Bless me, Father, and take this life - please let it end today.
I wonder how they listed me, POW or MIA?
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 15
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
==================================================================
Don't drink the water!
==================================================================
Were YOU exposed to Agent Orange??
By Jim Ferguson
NamVet Agent Orange Section Editor
VETLink #1 - Pittsfield, MA
(413) 443-6313
I remember quite well when a doctor asked me that question two
years ago. I was sitting in his office at Memorial Hospital Sloan-
Kettering Cancer Center in New York. It was the first time I
seriously contemplated the answer. Like many other vets, I usually
answered "No." In fact, it seemed to me that some vets blamed all
their life's woes on Agent Orange. An article in my hometown
paper quoted a boyhood friend as saying that he could no longer
concentrate after his exposure to Agent Orange, and it was
destroying his social life. I snickered as I recalled that he
didn't have much of a social life for as long as I'd known him.
(If you're reading this, Sorry, George.) Now I had cancer and it
wasn't quite so funny to me.
To the best of my knowledge, I had never been sprayed and had
never handled Agent Orange. But when you consider how much Agent
Orange was used in Viet Nam, and HOW it was used, it's probably
difficult to really avoid exposure. This point has been made more
eloquently and with more quantitative and technical information
than I have here. (See Martin Kroll's article in Namvet 4.11) My
point here is to suggest avenues of exposure you may not have
considered.
I was an infantryman (up in I Corps). I specifically recall that
we worked in some PREVIOUSLY defoliated areas. These certainly
weren't freshly defoliated. If you've seen the type of area I'm
talking about, you probably still remember it. It's acres and
acres of three foot high grass, nothing else grows there.
We made a night camp in one of these areas, sleeping on the ground
as there were no trees for hammocks. I recall watching a
thunderstorm roll in late in the afternoon. The only reason I
remember this incident is because I was worried about the
possibility of lightning. We were on the highest hill in the area
and except for the grass (and us) it was bare. I was concerned
about a lightning strike to the top of the hill, taking us out.
Charlie, the radioman, had his 10 foot whip antenna stuck up in
the air. I told him it looked like a good lightning rod and moved
a ways away from him. I do not recall the later details, as they
probably weren't anything unusual. I suppose I got quite wet,
sleeping on the ground with a poncho wrapped around me. Typically,
we would have gotten clean clothes with a resupply, sometime in
the next three days. Is THAT exposure? I wish I knew.
As I thought about that night, I also recalled an incident where
one guy (can picture him but can't remember his name) pretended to
be a "rural hayseed," chewing on a stalk of grass. I'm not certain
that this happened at the same place (but I believe that it did.)
I also don't remember if I joined in the game. I very well could
have, it's not something I would have thought twice about. Could
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 16
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
one be exposed from THAT?
For the first part of my tour, I spent about 25% of my time, on LZ
Maryann. Our nominal schedule was 15 days out and 5 days "on the
hill." Maryann was our "fire base" or artillery support area. As I
recall, there were two 105's, and at least one four deuce (4.2")
and at least one 81mm mortar but not much else. [To be
technically correct, yes there was an ammo dump, a kitchen, a
helicopter pad, and a commo hootch. This was a SMALL place, not
far from the Laotian border.] Maryann was usually defended by one
infantry company (about 60 men) in addition to the permanent
residents.
I remember vividly the first night I spent on Maryann. We had an
alert that night, and I thought we were under attack. With the
light of flares from the 81's and a search light mounted on a jeep
I looked out on a clear field of fire, searching for targets.
There were only a few dead tree trunks and that low vegetation to
obscure the view. It wasn't until those many years later that I
thought about WHY the jungle didn't grow right up to the barbed
wire perimeter.
My point here is that Maryann was simply a defoliated hill in the
middle of the jungle. Again it was not freshly defoliated, but I
don't know how "old" the defoliation was. When you consider that
we LIVED there, (eat, drink, sleep) with an open tank for the
drinking and cooking water, slogging through the mud during the
rainy season - could we really avoid exposure?
I have read that dioxin is not water soluble, I'm not sure if
that's positive or negative. It makes me feel somewhat better
about all the water I drank from rivers and streams (?), but it
also means that the dioxin was not simply washed away by the first
monsoon season after spraying. Perhaps the greatest frustration
here is that the government does not tell us what would have
contributed to exposure.
One last incident I'll note for you. When I first got out to the
field (FNG) I used the water purification (iodine) tablets. After
I found that none of the old hands did, I stopped using them.
However, there was one other time when I used them. I was stuck in
an area waiting (Weren't we always waiting for something?) and I
had no water. There was a light rain and I had my poncho set up
as a rain shelter. I loosened the strings so the poncho formed a
funnel and I caught the rain water running off from it in my
canteen cup. The water was really dirty from the poncho, so I
used a tablet to kill the microbes. Maybe I should have worried
about the origin of the "mud" as well.
These are the things I remember and KNOW about. There are probably
many more I haven't yet learned and may never know. So think about
it. What kept the weeds from growing over the perimeter where YOU
were? Where did YOUR drinking water come from?
If you've read this far, I guess you're also wondering what the
upshot of my visit with the doctor was. My tumor (soft-tissue
sarcoma) was removed Memorial Day weekend 1989 at my local
hospital. Two different pathologists have different
identifications for the exact type of cancer. However, the
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 17
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
treatment is the same so I'm not sure it matters to me. They're
both very rare. Of the one type there are 1,500 new cases in the
U.S. each year. Of the other type only 900 new cases. After they
identified and confirmed the diagnosis, the recommended treatment
was more tissue removal from the area and radiation treatment. I
had that surgery done at Sloan-Kettering in July 1989. They
implanted tubes under the skin during the surgery and loaded them
with a radioactive implant a few days later. After seven days they
pulled out the implants and the tubes.
I've had good 6-month checkups, most recently in June 1991. This
last one was particularly good news as 80% of reoccurrences are
within the first two years.
Is my tumor connected to Agent Orange? On an administrative
basis, there is now a presumption of service connection. Whether
it was really CAUSED by Agent Orange exposure, there doesn't seem
to be any way to tell.
A side note here. If you ever find yourself in a similar
situation, get the best care you can within the benefits available
to you. Medical care is NOT the same everywhere. My neighbor
still wonders why I went to New York for care (a "mere" three-hour
drive, each way.)
A FEW REASONS WHY I'M GLAD I DID:
The LOCAL surgeon had little or no experience with the wider
excision of tissue that I needed. At the hospital specializing in
cancer treatment, I found a surgeon who performed this operation
many times.
The LOCAL medical oncologist (chemotherapy doctor) could only find
one type of chemotherapy to use on this cancer. He recommended a
program where this chemotherapy would have been administered by
IV, requiring a two-day hospital stay every four weeks. I found
that the EXPERTS from the cancer center have not found
chemotherapy effective for soft-tissue sarcomas in the trunk. Can
anyone CONCEIVE of going through chemotherapy on an inpatient
basis, when it isn't effective for the particular type of cancer?
At the cancer center I also could have the radiation implant,
which was six DAYS of isolation instead of six WEEKS of daily
visits for radiation at my local hospital.
In fact, I believe that if I'd been at Sloan-Kettering for the
initial surgery, I'd have had only ONE operation (taking care of
the whole thing) and only ONE hospital stay.
Keep in mind that the doctors themselves say that medicine is an
art, not a science. Find yourself a Rembrandt, not a street wise
kid with a spray can.
Fourth Annual NamVet Page 18
Volume 4, Number 1 November 11, 1991
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